How Your Parenting Style Makes You a Dynamic Super Hero or a Harmful Threat
Parenting style matters in preventing dysfunctional families that engage in harmful behaviors that traumatize children, which may follow them into adulthood. The reality is that many parents are simply parenting their children how they were raised, even if they were raised in dysfunctional homes. How you were parented becomes how you decide to parent when you have children. But by recognizing that there are actual researched and documented parenting styles, adults can choose what type of parent they want to be.
So, why hasn’t there been a rush for parents to learn what their parenting style is and which style produces the happiest, healthiest, and emotionally balanced children? Well, it’s well-known information in research and clinical settings. But the average person may not be aware of this information because it’s not an everyday topic that appears in popular magazines, news outlets, or programs that they watch or read. But it should be because the difference between healthy parenting and unhealthy parenting can easily be understood and promoted in those spaces.
Provided there are no other factors in the home that can contribute to its dysfunction, like addictions and untreated mental illness, knowledge of parenting styles can make a tremendous difference in how parents parent and how their children thrive as a result. So, let’s take the mystery out of the topic and discuss what parenting styles are, which style is most successful, and what you can do to alter your parenting style to maximize your positive influence on your child’s sense of self and empowerment that will help them navigate life more confidently.
Parenting Style
The authoritative style* is a parenting style that educates and corrects children. Children are taught what is right and wrong and how to behave. Parents are the ones who set the rules in the family. Children learn to respect their parents. Parents have the power to discipline their children, and rightfully so.
The authoritarian style* is a parenting style that essentially removes children from the family. The parent always has the final say in all decisions in the family. Children are often not given an opinion on how to act, what to do, and what is right or wrong. Children learn to follow the rules of the house. There is no arguing with the parents, and the parents’ opinions are final. Children often report that they hate it when their parents are authoritative because of the emotional and psychological abuse, which happens all too often.
The permissive or indulgent style* is a parenting style in which children have few rules and limits. Children are not punished for misbehaving, as parents don’t place many demands on them. If the children choose to misbehave, parents are left to deal with the mess. Children are allowed to make bad choices, and the parents are ok with that. Children are often given too much autonomy, and that leads to the development of a child who is at high risk of social problems.
The uninvolved or neglectful style* is another example of a parenting style that removes children from the family. Parents do nothing to discipline their children. Because of this, children don’t learn proper behavior or to follow rules. Neglectful parents do not spend time with their children, and there is never a family event. Because of the lack of structure, children are often neglected. This is an excellent way of teaching children self-destructive behaviors.
We often see parenting styles that lead to the development of an adolescent who is at high risk. The best way to prevent this from happening is to teach parents how to parent. When parents are trained, they can teach their children the proper way to be a responsible, loving, and productive member of society.
Of the four parenting styles, it has been shown that parents who practice the authoritative style raise happier, more independent, and socially capable children. They are also more successful in their lives, having more education, earning more money, and being healthier. Children raised by authoritative parents are more empathetic, confident, and kind. Thus, it is important to teach the parent to be an authoritative figure and to set limits.
Of course, one size does not fit all. There are cultural and ethnic differences that figure into how parents raise their children. The child’s temperament must also be considered as well as the age of the children being parented.
While cultural and ethnic differences and a child’s temperament can affect parenting styles and outcomes for children, no research studies have shown the authoritative parenting style is not beneficial for families, and these results are from studies all over the world. Therefore, researchers and experts highly recommend the authoritative parenting style.
Authoritative Parenting Style
Authoritative parenting is when a parent teaches their child what is right and wrong, and what to do to make themselves feel better or to make them a better person. As a parent, the authoritative parent can be more effective at teaching their child what they want to learn. If they are not effective, children can learn from the other types of parenting styles.
Children raised by authoritarian parents learn people are not to be trusted. Children reared by negligent parents learn some people are more important than others. Children raised by permissive parents learn that a person’s actions have no consequences. Obviously, children learning from authoritative parents are best in this scenario.
Benefits of Authoritative Parenting
Authoritative parenting has been shown to benefit children. One of the most important things that authoritative parents teach their children is how to play fair. Authoritative parents teach their children that they should treat others how they want to be treated. Authoritative parents teach their children that they have to earn their own respect. An authoritative parent will make sure that their child gets enough education and information.
You may find that you fit into more than one parenting style. That’s normal. But if you want to adopt the authoritative parenting style, there are some things you can do. The first thing you have to do is commit to changing your parenting style for your benefit and your children’s. And on a daily basis, adopt the following practices of authoritative parents:
- Teach your children to be responsible
- Let your children make their own mistakes
- Allow your children to express their thoughts
- Encourage your children to be independent
- Listen to and love your children unconditionally
- Show respect and affection for your children
- Protect your children from harm
- Set limits and provide structure for your children
- Reinforce your children’s strengths
- Know how to discipline your children
- Give your children tools for success
- Encourage your children to develop their abilities
Set high standards for yourself as a parent and for your children and work on creating a beautiful home environment and parent-child relationship that will make you all happy and satisfied. Have fun while you’re at it!
If you would like to learn more about parenting and would like to elevate your parenting style, sign up and join the class on How to Level Up Your Parenting Style and Raise Healthy, Balanced Children.
If you would like to receive personal support, coaching, and mentoring from me, you can sign up here.
You can check on my website for other courses and services offered that foster self-improvement as an important factor in stopping dysfunctional families, the birthplace of childhood trauma.
If you think you have other underlying issues such as anger, stress, and depression, visit the highly qualified professionals at Online Therapy. They offer a successful online therapy experience that can be accessed from anywhere in the world. Customers highly rated the program, and it is a convenient and affordable alternative to in-person therapy services.
Please share this article with those who can benefit from it. There are millions of parents who want to be better parents than they are now. But they may not know where to begin. This article is a great start to the new you! Together, we can help heal each other.
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Thank you for spending your time with me. I’m sending you peace, love, and light!
