As a parent, no one is in a better position than you to prevent your child from being abused or traumatized. You can become more aware of child abuse and practice healthy parenting. That’s something you should do to be the best parent you can be for yourself and your children.
That should need no convincing from me. But let’s talk about the elephant in the room.
The biggest obstacle to preventing child abuse is parents who are resistant to change their lifestyles. How many adults invite other adults into their homes they hardly know around their children? How many mothers move men into their homes after very short courtships?
How many mothers leave their children in the care of men and women who barely know them? What’s the danger in that?
Parents Gone Wrong
https://cafemom.com/news/boyfriend-beats-child-death-mother-giving-birth
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/mother-boyfriend-beat-3-year-old-boy-to-death-police-say/
Being a Parent Requires Commitment
So let’s cut to the chase. If you love your child and are a good parent, you do not invite unfamiliar people around your children. You don’t use those people as babysitters because you don’t know them well enough yourself to be alone with them.
Why would you put your future, your precious children, and your legacy in the hands of a stranger?
My position may seem extreme to some. But it’s a labor of love. I would never sacrifice my child to someone who could harm or kill them because I gave entry.
I will never be desperate enough or value myself low enough to go along with that. I don’t care anything about cuffing season!
It’s a big joke. But no one ever considers how cuffing season affects the children in the home.
Parent Research Connections
But to further show the seriousness of the issue, let me share some research with you by Children’s National Health System. The research performed by Dr. Omar Z. Ahmed determined that efforts to prevent child abuse should include other categories of caregivers because the injuries to children from their parent’s male partner are more severe.
Dr. Ahmed reviewed medical records of children admitted from 2013 to 2015 to evaluate and treat non-accidental trauma. He identified 225 cases of child abuse. In 150 of the 225 cases, the perpetrator was identified.
Of the 150 children who suffered non-accidental trauma:
68.4% were injured by a parent
14% were injured by a stepparent, boyfriend or girlfriend
9.7% were injured by a daycare staff member or babysitter
4.6% were injured by a relative
7 Actionable Steps That Help Prevent Child Abuse: Tips That Work Like a Charm
Beware Parents
As you can see, parents are the largest group to be confirmed or suspected of child abuse. But children abused by the second group (parent’s partner), who were mostly male, were more likely to have severe injuries, severe head injuries, and require intubation while hospitalized compared to children abused by their parent.
The point here is not to say parents are less abusive than their partners. Both are equally evil in their mistreatment of children. But I give the evidence about parent’s partner to validate the seriousness mothers and fathers must take to protect their children from being harmed by their partner or anyone else.
And why would a male partner inflict the most severe abuse on his partner’s child? The child is not his, and he has no ties to that child, emotionally or otherwise. Sometimes, the male partner may resent the child because he or she is not his.
In his twisted mind, he has nothing but negative feelings for the child, and this may motivate him to mistreat him or her. Children with special needs are also at great risk.
Obviously, we are talking about people who have serious issues. Not every person you meet, will mistreat your children. But keep your eyes open.
The bottom line is that as a parent, you are the first line of defense against your children being abused. You protect them by making sure you are mentally healthy and balanced yourself. You practice healthy parenting and develop trusting relationships with your children.
If you do all of that, you will not have individuals around you or your children you don’t know and trust, including family. How you vet people and the time it takes varies with each individual.
But you must take it slow and not ignore any red flags. If you have this mindset from now on, you can effectively parent and protect your children from being abused. The standard you set will become the one your children adopt with their children, and so on.
To learn about how I changed my life for the better and let go of the pain of the past, pick up a copy of my book Choosing to Stop the Madness: Overcoming Toxic Family Patterns. I describe how I ended generations of abuse and unhealthy parenting in my life. I can show you how to do the same in yours.
Words can heal and absorb our pain. My journal Stop the Madness: Overcome Toxic Family Patterns Journal will help you reflect on your past and plan for your future. Pick up a copy today.
Contact me here. Please visit my website and social media sites to learn more about me.
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Data source: Child abuse injuries more likely to be severe if caregiver is male and unrelated to child.
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